ill be your best kept secret..

Mon, 14 Mar 2005 01:52:17 GMT

This first weekend has been really really BORING. Friday night i just hung out with nicole, and kim n cory stopped by before they went to Neon Moon.. It was nice. But i think i am gettin a little cold. :-( Thatd be bad! Yesterday i just layed out by the pool with nicole and my sister and tanned for a couple hours. Then nicole left and hung out with randy for the day and i just sat at home alone. Today i went to the mall with amanda and we went shopping for her to go clubbin tonight abnd i helped her get ready and she went and got a mystic tan. And i applied for a job and i MIGHT get one! I really hope they call me back cuz i hate not having my own money! Its just killin me.. But i gotta go. Leave me some love..

Fri, 11 Mar 2005 02:55:23 GMT

SPRING BREAK STARTS TOMORROW!! yayy! Even though pretty much all my friends are gonna be outta town. But a few are gonna be here.. Apprently Nick decided to tell me i am hanging out with him and Cameron like every freakin night next week.. okay, at least i will have something to do. Anyway, nothing new is going on at all just some gay finals and all the same old shit. Yeah both Katie H. and Melody leave tomorrow. Kinda sucks but at least they will be having fun. Ill find something to do.. Work out, tan, chill i guess! But uhh i am gonna go "study" or something... leave me something.. SWEET!

<3

Sat, 05 Mar 2005 20:24:47 GMT

Yesterday was my last day of drivers ed which made me VERY happy. But the only thing is that i had to sit there for 2 extra hours cuz i missed on wed. I had to get a damn root canal, at least i got to miss school. It hurt really bad but my teeth will be a lot prettier now. Next week is finals week and i am totally stoked about spring break '05. No more Miami though, my mom said its way to late to get the tickets for when i wanna go cuz its way to close. GAY if you ask me. Everyone is gonna be outta town, its gonna suck. I wish Sam could drive down here or something. Thatd be really fun since i havent seen her in A YEAR and all.. Me n her always had a good time being dorks. (love ya bitch!!) But summer is gonna be awesome i guess, im not gonna waste my summer on drama like i did last time, it was hell for me and a big huge waste of time.. Not doing that again. Ill just chill and stay outta the middle of other peoples problems.. Since Sam is probably moving back me n her and gonna be hangin out all the time so that we can catch up! Shes like the awesomest friend ever! But anyway.. Last night after drivers ed i got all ready and stuff and went with Kim to Don Pablos (she wanted to see Cory) Then we came back here and watched a Cinderella Story and just acted like dorks i guess.. It was fun i need a girls night relaxin every once in a while.. After Kim left i just talked on the phone with nick and finished Sam's 6 page letter! It was fun.. Dont know what i am gonan do tonight but i am going prom dress shoppin with Kim tomorrow cuz she wants me to help her.. YAY! That will be fun, i cant wait to go to prom.. But i gotta go.. leave me some l0ve!

<3

Sun, 27 Feb 2005 22:10:19 GMT

This weekend was SO crazy! But it was kinda fun. Friday there was so much drama.. My parents went out to hang out with their friends and they werent gonna be back for a while, so me n my sister invited some people over. Katie Hommerding, Nicole, Nick, Chance, Lindsay, and then Mel came over for like 5 minutes after work.. We didnt see her much though. Well Nick was nice enough to buy us some alchol and Nicole and Lindsay were SOO drunk it was kinda funny.. Then Nicole flew off the front of Mel's car and hit her head really really hard and she was TOTALLY out of it for the rest of the night and it was really bad... Then Katie's parents came home and all hell went down cuz there were guys over at my house and i DONT really think her dad liked that too much.. But he never told my parents so its all good... Then last night we all went to the movies and saw The Man of the House and it was the gayest movie i have ever seen in my LIFE! NO JOKE! Then we just came back to my house and chilled.. It was neat.. But uhh i gotta go, so leave me some love.. later hos!

Tue, 22 Feb 2005 01:59:27 GMT

This weekend has been so crazy.. Friday me n Nicole hung out and watched THE NOTEBOOK and talked for a while, it was really fun, me n her needed to catch up. Then Saturday night i hung out with Amanda and Mel and we went to some really really crazy guys house and it was really scary! So then we ditched that and drove around for a while. The Sunday me n Mel washed got payed to wash two peoples cars and then we went and bought some really cute bathing suits with our money. Then we went and saw Hitched, i l0ved that movie! It was so0o0 cute! Then today me n Mel n my sister tanned ALL DAY and i am SO burnt! And i had gay drivers ed after that. I came home and Chance was over, chillin with my sister and Melody i guess. Me n Mel saw a van full of lesbian convicts and me n her were dancing and they were like sitting there like STARING at us! It was really scary. But now i am have to go finish my homework.. Tomorrow we have TAKS.. really really GAY! But i gotta go! leave me some l0ve!

Sat, 19 Feb 2005 00:22:41 GMT

PEOPLE PISS ME OFF! I dont get it sometimes but whatever.. This week has sucked SO bad its not even funny.Nothing went the way i wanted it to.. Especially valentines.. When i got home from school i like cried all afternoon.. That day sucked so bad.. I hate it when people dont tell you things cuz they think they are protecting your feelings.. That makes me mad..But then i had to start driver's ed. That was really gay.. Everything has just gone completely wrong this week. Except me and Nicole are talkin again and we are gonna try and fix our friendship, which i am very happy about, cuz it just has been really weird without her. At first i had convinced myself that i hated her for leaving then i realized the only reason i did that was because i was afriad we were never gonna talk again. But its all gravy me n her are gonna hang out tonight. I dont really feel like writing anymore so i am gonna go get ready. leave me some love.

21 days til spring break!

Sun, 13 Feb 2005 18:39:44 GMT

Last night was boring, i just watched the notebook with my parents then i talked on the internet.. And around 11 larry and collin came over for like 10 minutes or so.. That was interesting.. Then me n sammi talked on the phone from like 12 to 2:30, it was awesome! Shes moving back here! I am totally siked about that one. I have sooo much shit to do today. I dont wanna! I have a project in english that i have to do.. I have to make a soundtrack to a book we are reading.. And i gotta dye my hair, go tanning, and i wanted to work out but i guess i will just have to go running and stuf around he house. Last night me and meldy were talking about the note book and it was soooo sweet what she was sayin about her and logan.. so i gotta show you:

kellrz lil babi: i cried so hard
kellrz lil babi: like watchin the movie
Mellmonster1018: it makes me want logan real bad
kellrz lil babi: haha
kellrz lil babi: aww
kellrz lil babi: you and logie have a love like that
Mellmonster1018: i know and its like her mom is my aunt
kellrz lil babi: OMG!
kellrz lil babi: thats like your life story!!
Mellmonster1018: lol
Mellmonster1018: yea its like no one really understands
kellrz lil babi: next weekend is gonna be awesome
Mellmonster1018: but his parent like me
kellrz lil babi: yeah
kellrz lil babi: i understand i hear it from both of you all the time
Mellmonster1018: i know but i mean like adults dont understand
kellrz lil babi: yeah
kellrz lil babi: they are stupid
Mellmonster1018: logan read the book and i told him i wanted to die wiht him like that
kellrz lil babi: awww
Mellmonster1018: i really really do
Mellmonster1018: cuz i dont want to live without him
Mellmonster1018: i would kill myslef if he dies before me
kellrz lil babi: awww

i just thought it was really sweet.. but i gotta go start my day! Later! leave me some love

<3

Sat, 12 Feb 2005 21:29:30 GMT

Yesterday went by so fast. I loved it. We didnt watch Star Wars in Spanish we watched A Bug's Life and it was really funny cuz i couldnt understand a damn thing they were saying. lol. Me n Katie talked yesterday and realized we havent had one of our good indepth convos and we need to.. But last night me and Melody went to see In Good Company, it was a pretty good movie.. Then when we were walkin to the car these two guys that were smoking were like screaming "hey baby whats your name.. " and stuff like that and i looked at them and they like walked towards us and me n mel were in the parking garage alone so it was really scary. Then they got really mad cuz we wouldnt talk to them and called us stupid hoes. Well they are gay. Today i have pretty much sat around and do nothing i worked out a little and then i am going tanning.. Dont know what i am doing tonight, i think melody is gonna dye my hair later tonight but im not sure what else im doing.. Anybody wants to hang out gimme a call. Gotta go, leave me some love.

27 Days til Spring Break!!

Fri, 11 Feb 2005 01:26:20 GMT

This week has gone by so freakin fast. Tuesday i was "sick" so i didnt go to school, it was nice, I slept til like 12-30 and watched tv and stuff. Tomorrow i have a fiesta in espanol! cant wait for that, we get to watch Star Wars in spanish? Woopdie Doo! Cant even understand what the hell they are sayin in english, so im not gonna get that. Melody got her liscence this week so me n her are gonna have a lot of fun this weekend. But i really cant wait til next weekend when Kim's parets go outta town! Thats gonna be a BLAST! AHH! She said i could bring any guy that i wanted to, but um too bad i dont have ANY! Which really sucks, cuz i could have fun with that. Oh well. Valentines Day is on Monday which also really sucks cuz i dont have a valentine. Whatever. For Spring Break i get to go to Miami for two weeks to "get away." Thats gonna be fun. Since everyone is gonna be doing there thing, i dont really wanna stay here alone. Yeah Sammi asked me to help her delete her journal thing and i read one of her entries and i just had to put it in here cuz me n her had some good times..

..and i had jessi, who was my best friend in the world at the time. we used to sit around her house just doing nothing like watching mtv hits on her couches downstairs, talking online to people, or drinking root beer and eating popcorn while watching what a girl wants on pay per veiw, even though neither of us liked pop corn to much.

Tue, 08 Feb 2005 01:33:09 GMT

For some odd reason i had a really bad day.. But i did get to leave school during second and go visit Jeremy in the hospital. He is staying in a really scary hospital.. I would not wanna stay there. I really hate hospitals.. I am in such a bad mood for some reason.. Even though the PATRIOTS WON THE SUPERBOWL! That means i won a bet.. I dont know about that though i dont know if i wanna go through with it... Just really confusing. I had such a bad day, like when i got home i was just in such a bad mood, and i have no idea why. Its gettin so close to Valentines Day and i hate it. I was thinking about it today and i have never had a guy ON vday, i mean i have had one around then, but no actually on it. Kinda depressing, but nothing changed this year.. Still like some one but i have no idea why, he doesnt even talk to me anymore. yuck. Need to break that, its not gonna go back to the way it was.. oh well im over it.. Goin to do some home work... later.

Sun, 06 Feb 2005 18:17:13 GMT

Its SUPERBOWL SUNDAY! The patriots are totally gonna win, cuz the eagles SUCK ASS! My family is havin our third annual Superbowl Party. We have had one every year the patriots were in the Superbowl and we lived in keller. Gonna be really fun. Yeah this morning i talked to Jeremy.. Hes still in the hospital and hes probably not gonna get out til like Wedsnday or something, that means he doesnt get to ome to our party. But me n my sister are gonna go visit him during third period tomorrow. I hope. I have kinda been avoiding going to the hospital.. They scare me. This morning he was talkin about how he imagined his funeral and stuff and it really scared me. But then he told me that hes just happy to be alive. And that made me happy. But i gotta go finish helpin my family get ready.

GO PATRIOTS!

Fri, 04 Feb 2005 03:36:58 GMT

I am sooo scared right now! Jeremy is supposibly in the hospital and that really scares me. I hope hes okay. If something was seriously wrong i dont know what i would do, hes like the older brother i never had.. I need more details. But i dont really wanna write much, so i am going to bed. Everyone pray for Jeremy, if its true..

Wed, 02 Feb 2005 21:28:57 GMT

Today was such a slow day.. I got a Saturday school and then i have a dhall after school tomorrow.. Not gonna tell my parets about that one... That makes me so mad... Yeah i was suppose to hang out with collin today, but i cant, i have to clean. GAY. MELODY GETS HER LISCENCE TODAY! AH! I am very excited for her.. We are gonna have so much fun this weekend! Yeah this sunday is the SUPERBOWL and the PATRIOTSare DEFINITELY gonna win. Cant wait to see that AGAIN. haha.My family is having like this BIG ASS party, anyone can come, as long as i want you here. But i gotta go clean up and do my homework and workout and all that fun shit.

Tue, 01 Feb 2005 00:18:20 GMT

Today was such a slow day. It would never end, rarr. Melody gets her liscence on Wednsday, we are gonna have a blast this weekend! Yeah Nicole goes to central now? Dont know whats up with that.. Really sucks though. We were best friends for like two years and she just all the sudden leaves.. I mean we have had a little hard time lately, but she coulda talked to me.. Whatever, to late now. Nothing else is new, no new guys or anything. Just the same old guy in my head. rarr. I need to get rid of him. I get so stressed out n he gets me thinkin and i dont like it. but i gotta go, leave some love.

Sun, 30 Jan 2005 17:50:54 GMT

Last night was fun! We went out for my sisters birthday, we went to chilis and then we were attempting to go bowling but that didnt work out, so then we just met larry up at whataburger. We all got to meet Jeremy's new GIRLFRIEND Jamie. Shes sooooooo nice, i really like her they are so good together, he likes her a lot and hes so happy with her, so im happy for them. Shes so funny. We took a lot of pictures, they are in my album if you wanna look at them. Me n Katie n Mel n Jamie n Jeremy all went to the bowling alley and just sat there for like an hour cuz apperently a bunch of people go bowling at 10:30 at night. But it was a blast, we were acting CRAZY. After that me n Katie n Mel all met Larry up at whataburger and just chilled there for like 45 minutes, then me n my sister had to be home. But last night was so fun, but i cant believe i forgot to tell one of my closest buds Ernie to go, i feel so bad! Sorry Ernie<3. Dont know whats on the agenda today, my sister wanted me to go to the movies with her, and then me n Ernie are suppose to hang out sometime and i wanted to go to the gym, so yeah.. Im gonna go eat breakfast and get ready for my day! leave some love.

(some crazy pictures...)

Sat, 29 Jan 2005 05:01:48 GMT

Today was such a long day and so boring. rarr. I hate days like this. There was suppose to be a pep rally but they cancelled it, so there wasnt. Tonight i got all ready to go to the Keller/Fossil game and it was a total yawn, so my sister took me home.. But first we picked up melody, and she came back to my house with me, and we hung out and had loads of fun. For like the passed couple days i have been really upset for some reason but i dont know why. I guess i know, but i dont wanna talk about it. I remember a couple weeks ago when i was gonna have sex with some one (bad descion) but i didnt (good descion) i thought about a completely different guy the whole time, thats why i couldnt go through with it. I thoguht he would be the LAST person on my mind, but oh no.. Thats why i couldnt do it. Too late now, just glad i didnt have sex with him. I need to get this kid outa my head though.. Dont know how im gonna do that but whatever. I am going to bed.. leave me some love.

<3

Thu, 27 Jan 2005 03:20:59 GMT

Today was such a long day. I cant wait til next monday, skipping first period to go out to breakfast at IHOP for my sisters 17th birthday. I hate first period, so its gonna be fun. Me n my sister n mel n danyle are all going. My favorite ladies.. Yah, this weekend i dont think that i have anything fun going on.. Which sucks.. I know its only wednsday.. but everyone is going to football banquet or the bbal game against fossil.. but i dont wanna do either. Oh well guess ill see what happens. But umm i have nothing really that interesting going on.. so im gonna go.

<3

Tue, 25 Jan 2005 22:28:26 GMT

Yeah today i was pissed off all day! But then i realized that im not gonna do anything about it, so there is no reason to even be mad. So whatever. Now i am trying to make the best of the rest of my day. And i have so much energy and NOTHING to do, which sucks. Yeah this Friday that hide n seek movie comes out and i wanna see it really bad, but everybody is busy so i have no one to go with. If anyone wants to go with me, tell me! Even though thats like 3 or 4 days away, whatever. I think way too much, i need to stop that.. But um i am gonna go to the gym and stuff so.. later.

Tue, 25 Jan 2005 03:07:41 GMT

Today was really really boring! But i am REALLY REALLY excited that the PATRIOTS are going to the superbowl again and they are gonna win, cuz um Phili SUCKS! Tonight i hung out with amanda, and i met her new guy. And kingsley like cross-exaimed the kid like he was her dad it was very entertaining. Other than that nothing even close to exciting has happened to me today.My life is so boring. Valentines Day is coming up soon, im a lil sad cuz im gonna be alone, again and all my friends will have all their cute lil things from their boyfriends, and im the only single one. So that really sucks, another Valentines Day alone. Blah. It makes me sad. But yeah i am gonna go in my room... later.

Mon, 24 Jan 2005 01:46:14 GMT

I am really really happy. I just got off the phone with larry, and its like the first time i talked to him in a while. And like all the stuff he said to me in my lil journal thing made me so happy. It made me feel alot better. And yeah this weekend has been really REALLY boring. I just sat at home and watched aladdin. That made me pretty happy. Then me and ernie hung out like all day today. It was really really fun, we were acting like the biggest nerds. Im really happy that me and her hang out alot. Shes so funny. And now im at home and watching the PATRIOTS, hoping that they will wion their game and go to the Superbowl.. Cuz thatd be awesome. That would be a good Superbowl. But i am gonna go take a shower, sorry so short..

Sat, 22 Jan 2005 02:12:59 GMT

Nothing really that exciting has happened to me in the past couple days, thats why i havent written in here. lol. Right now i am just chillin at amanda's house trying to make some plans for tonight.. Dont know whats going on yet though. Yeah i am trying to make a new screen name up but im not to creative, so thats no good. Umm lets see, last night i went to the gym and watched the OC and stuff. I guess that was good. My life is really boring so, i dont really have that much to write about. Im pretty sure that sam is still coming to visit me, which i am REALLY stoked about! Plans arent definite but, it would be awesome for her to be here, cuz she is like one of my best friends and i havent seen her in like a year and a half and when she left keller we were in this really big fight, so thats not good. But i am really glad that me and her got close again. But i gotta go and make plans for tonight... later.

Wed, 19 Jan 2005 00:13:16 GMT

I have been thinking alot this afternoon.. And im a little confused, thats pretty much as far as ive gotten. I dont even know why i was thinking about this stuff. Im a little pissed off though, cuz the hole lets just be friends thing, okay if you wanna really be my friend thats great, but if your just saying that.. no. I would seriously want a guy to justy tell me i like another girl or i just dont like you anymore, i mean it would hurt but i mean at least he would be being honest with me. Thats so gay! I mean seriously if i didnt wanna "talk" to a guy anymore i would just tell him, not just make up some big BULLLLSHIT exuse and say "lets just be friends" thats gay. And dont even say "i still like you, but i wanna be alone for a lil bit, but then turn around like 3 days later and have a different girl. It was makin me so mad, but now that i got that off my chest, i feel a lil bit better. I mean im not directing it toward one person im just talking in general. Annnyyyyway.. Went back to school today, yeah that was pretty really boring. I got my PSAT scores back, and now i have it down on paper that i am a MORON! I am in the freakin 15 percentile.. and thats not good AT ALL! Oh well i dont care, its just a PSAT.. I have like three tests tomorrow that i am completely not ready for, yeah i am gonna fail. Thats no good. But im gonna go study i guess, later!

Mon, 17 Jan 2005 22:09:21 GMT

Today has been so FREAKIN boring! Literally i have not done anything at all, and that is never. Katie got back from her retreat and she told me she missed me! hehe, i feel special. lol. Last night i went to the movies and saw meet the fockers, it was funny, but we had to leave early so i didnt get to see the end though, which sucks. Right about now, im not really likin anyone, even though i said that last night oh well. I need a new group of guys.. Yeahh, if only it was that easy! WHATEVER! Anyway.. i cant wait til spring break! My parents are going out of town i think. Im pretty sure they are going to Las Vegas. Im excited. They arent flying anyone down to watch us we just get to go stay at our friends house.YAY! party over here! But thats not for like another nine weeks, plans could change in nine weeks, but i hope they dont! That would blow, but ill keep yah posted. Yeah i dont really know what else to say since i have no life, sooo im gonna go, maybe something good will happen tomorrow.. righhhhhht. Leave me some love.

-xoxo

Mon, 17 Jan 2005 01:45:10 GMT

Yeah i havent written in this thing in SOOO long.. A lot has happened since the last time though. Right now my life just about SUCKS ASS. Nothing is going the way i want it to, and im alone now just like i always am. There are no guys that i like or that like me so thats never good for me, cuz i hate being alone. Well theres always one guy that i like, but hes just one of those guys you have in yor life that you'll never forget, even though he hurt you bad. But im not gonna go there cuz then ill get all upset and shit. But right now i need a distraction, a guy distraction. Like PRONTO. I miss having a guy say sweet stuff to me and like being in some ones arms and stuff and it REALLY sucks. All my friends at least have some one and every time they talk about how happy they are, i mean im happy for em, but sometimes i just wanna block them out with how much im alone and stuff. Yeah i was gonna make the biggest mistake the other day and just have sex for NO reason. That would have been bad, cuz i mean its my virginity, i mean if i wasnt a virgin then im all for it, but i atleast want my FIRST time to be with some one special, i dont care who its with after that, but the first time is important to me. I guess im just weird. Now that i realized that though im not gonna be havin sex for a long time, cuz i dont have anyone special and i probably wont for a long time. But yeah i gotta go finish gettin ready for the movies! later. -xoxo Jessi

Sun, 05 Dec 2004 23:41:54 GMT

I havent written on this thing in a couple days.. guess i have been a lil busy. Last night was muy muy bad! Alot of stuff happened. it was muy muy mal... Today me and amanda went shopping and i got melody's jeans and amanda's sunglasses, and i got myself a pair. Then kim called and it turned out her an cory got into this big fight and he broke up with her so i felt really bad about that cuz she was really upset and i dont like it when my friends are upset, it makes me upset. So yea.. I dont know whats goin on now but oh well.. Havent talked to larry yet today... Im hoping he will call. But if he doesn then thats sucks i guess. But i gotta go do a few things.. Later!

=xoxo=